Sunday, September 14, 2008, 21:09
Where's the Toad?
I finally saw our basement toad the other day! I've been looking for him for two months!
It all started when Charlie was still alive. One night, when I let Charlie out, Henry, Katerina and Dora were by the door, too. It's always a challenge to keep Dora from running outside. In the chaos and confusion of letting Charlie out and keeping Dora in, the toad, who was waiting on the doorsill, hopped into the basement. It was a big toad, too.
Since I had safely and successfully let Charlie out without Dora running outside (it's hard to find a black cat in the dark, you know), I figured I could get the toad and put him back outside when I let Charlie in.
After all, how far can a big, fat toad get in just a few minutes?
When I got back in the house, of course, the toad was nowhere to be seen. Henry, Katerina and Dora were camped out by the metal utility shelves, noses in the space beneath the shelves. I figured the toad had gone under there, but I also figured he would show up sooner or later and that I could put him outside then.
Every day I kept an eye out for that toad. Days stretched into weeks. Weeks stretched into months.
Finally, on Friday, I saw him hopping across the basement floor.
I turned around for a moment to find something to scoop him up so I could put him outside. I spied one of the big insulated coffee mugs that I use for warm water for the barn kitties in the winter. I snatched up the mug and turned around.
Now where in the world did that toad go in just a few moments?
I heard a noise over by some boxes stacked against the wall. The toad was just making his way into the space between the boxes.
Who knew that a toad could move that fast? From the glimpse I got of him, he seemed to be all right. A little pale, maybe, for a toad. But essentially all right.
There are quite a few boxes stacked up where the toad took refuge. I did not want to spend all kinds of time moving boxes only to discover that the toad had gone elsewhere. So, once again, I'm on the lookout for that toad.
When Randy got home from work, I told him I had finally seen the toad and that he seemed to be fine and vigorous (although a little pale) and moving around pretty fast.
"I wonder if that's why we haven't had any crickets in the basement this summer?" Randy said.
Hmmmm. . . I wonder. . . .
Every summer we generally have tons of crickets in the basement, chirping and making lots of noise. Enough noise that it can be annoying enough to interrupt sleep. But this summer, the basement has been quiet. I never put two and two together that with a toad in the basement, there has been a striking absence of cricket songs. . .
LeAnn R. Ralph
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Thursday, September 11, 2008, 07:50
Postal Regulations
I ended up taking all of the cookbook orders to Wheeler (a town about five miles away) to mail them. I forgot that you cannot put postage on packages over 13 ounces and put the packages in the mailbox. Terrorists you know. The "profilers" figure that a terrorist is likely to leave a package in the mailbox with postage on it. If you leave money, then you can't be a terrorist because if you want your change, the profilers say you are not likely to be a terrorist.
I got this straight from the postmaster in town a while back, so it must be true. It's just that I forgot all about it. In recent months, I've not had much reason to think about the postal regulations regarding packages. If the package is over 13 ounces (and the cookbooks are 21 ounces), you either must tape money to the package, or you must take the package into the post office. So I took it to the post office in Wheeler, five miles away, instead of the post office in Colfax, seven miles away. I had a lovely conversation with the postmaster in Wheeler about wild grapes and wild elderberries.
Of course, the real truth of the matter is — the terrorists will do what they are going to do and who cares about getting change back for their money? There are millions of people in this country who must deal with regulations who are the farthest thing from being a threat to the country as anything could be.
It's another example of law-abiding citizens being inconvenienced because of the criminal activity of a few. Those of us with allergies who need decongestants must get it from the pharmacist and give our driver's license number and sign for it. And all because a few people have decided they'd like to make "big bucks" making methampetamine with the decongestant.
The sheriff's department reports that not being able to buy decongestant has not, in the long run, cut down on the amount of methamphetamine in the area. Those who want it merely get it from the Twin Cities.
At any rate, surely the postal service profilers must have figured that certain areas of the country are less likely to be full of terrorists? Of course, the infamous "smiley face" mail box bomber of the Midwest was a student at UW-Stout in Menomonie (about 15 miles from where I live). But he wasn't a terrorist, per se.
Certainly he was terrorizing people who were afraid to open their mailboxes in case the mailboxes blew up in their faces. But he wasn't plotting to bring down the whole country. He was merely blowing up mailboxes in a pattern so they would form a giant "smiley-face." Those are the actions of a mentally ill individual, but not someone who is intent on the destroying the country.
No, destroying the country is a task that is best left to the politicians. And from what I can see, they are doing a fine job without any help from anyone. The question I am asking myself is when will the citizens of this country be able to get back a government that's "of the people, by the people, and for the people?"
LeAnn R. Ralph
Click here to order the Rural Route 2 Cookbook