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Cuddles
by LeAnn R. Ralph

Late one summer evening the first year after we'd moved back to my hometown, I stood on the porch waiting for my dog, a Shetland Sheepdog mix, to finish her customary stroll around the yard before bedtime.

Out of the darkness, I heard loud snapping, crackling and rustling coming from the direction of the neighbor's cornfield just a few feet north of our yard. Because of the pine trees between the house and the field, I didn't have a prayer of seeing anything. And in the dark, the noises sounded distinctly spooky and unnerving, "Deer?" I thought. "Or maybe it's a raccoon..."

At any rate, my dog didn't seem overly concerned, so we went back into the house.

The next morning, I told my husband about all the noises coming from the cornfield.

"Probably raccoon," he replied. "Deer don't make that much noise."

Well, I know we have at least one raccoon in the near vicinity. Earlier in the summer - around dusk - our Springer Spaniel started barking, yapping and growling. When I went outside to find out why he was so upset, he charged toward a large raccoon sitting under a pine tree in our back yard. As the dog raced across the yard, the raccoon wisely decided it was time to hang out somewhere else. It vanished into the trees without a moment's hesitation, but not before I caught a glimpse of its mischievous-looking masked face.

'He looks like Cuddles,' I thought, although I knew that couldn't be possible because it had been 25 years since I'd seen Cuddles.

Now - I know raccoons can cause tremendous damage to cornfields. I know they pull down the stalks and strip the ears of their tender kernels. I know racoons can become formidable foes for dogs and cats should their paths happen to cross. I've heard of dogs needing stitches after fights with racoons, and I've known of cats being killed by racoons. I know, too, that large racoons sitting in the road and stubbornly refusing to get out of the way of oncoming cars can cause accidents... But still, I have a soft spot in my heart for raccoons.

That's because of one special raccoon who was my friend for a short time while I was growing up that I named Cuddles. He was just a baby, and he had been an intruder in my brother-in-law's corn crib. My sister stashed him in a box and brought him to our farm one afternoon in late spring. Cuddles lived in a large cage Dad built for him. We set the cage in between the garage and a round grain bin, underneath the shade of a towering Silver Maple.

Every day, I tried to make friends with the young racoon. I brought him treats, like sections of apples or pieces of hard candy. And I tried to stroke his thick, soft fur.

But Cuddles didn't want to be friends. After I received several sharp nips on my fingers, I stopped trying to win over the raccoon. Every day I continued to clean Cuddles' cage and gave him fresh food and water - but I didn't try to pet him or offer him treats.

Eventually Cuddles decided I wasn't a threat to his safety. Then he let me stroke his soft, velvety ears that were the color of rich carmel. And he, in turn, explored my face, glasses and hair with his clammy, leather-like paws. I couldn't get over how much his paws seemed like human hands. Once Cuddles became friendly, he'd take all sorts of treats from my hand, too - but I discovered I had to be careful about what I gave him. It couldn't be anything that dissolved quickly in water, like cookies, because everything went into his water dish before it went into his mouth.

After we had gotten past our rocky beginnings I enjoyed Cuddles' friendship. And I envisioned having him around for years. My father liked Cuddles, too. But as Dad watched Cuddles grow up, something began to bother him.

"You know," Dad said to me one evening while we were doing the milking, "Cuddles probably isn't very happy in his cage. I think he'd rather be with his own kind - I think you should consider letting him go."

"Let him go!" I exclaimed, setting down the milker bucket and turning to stare at Dad. "How will he take care of himself?"

"He's young, and he's smart," Dad replied. "He'll know. It's Nature's way."

For a long time, I thought about what Dad had said. Finally, with a feeling of deep sadness, I realized he was right.

So one evening in late summer after we'd finished milking, Dad and I loaded Cuddles and his cage into the pickup truck. Dad said the best place to give Cuddles his freedom was by the spring that gurgled and bubbled its way through a small section of woods at the back of our farm. Cuddles would have water there with cornfields nearby, and there were sure to be other raccoons around, too, Dad explained.

Near the little spring in the woods, which is actually just across the road from where I live now, we let Cuddles go. He headed straight for the water, chattering happily, exploring the spring, and sniffing at tracks other raccoons had made in the mud. He looked back at us once - and then he disappeared into the brush.

A huge lump rose in my throat as I watched Cuddles leave. I rubbed my eyes and fought back tears while Dad and I walked to the truck.

Dad glanced at me. And in his unerring way, with his quiet, infinite wisdom, he offered me comfort. "He'll be happier this way," Dad said gently. "He'll be okay. Don't worry."

Of course I knew Dad was right - but that didn't make it any less painful.

Several times that fall I took a walk back to the spring, hoping I would catch a glimpse of Cuddles. I never saw him again. But for the rest of my days, I will remember the one last look he gave us before disappearing into the woods, and I hope he lived a long and happy life.

Now, so many years later, I have finally realized Dad and Cuddles taught me a valuable lesson that summer -- sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone you love, is simply to let go.

LeAnn R. Ralph is the author of the farm books: "Christmas in Dairyland (True Stories from a Wisconsin Farm) (trade paperback; 2003), "Give Me a Home Where the Dairy Cows Roam" (trade paperback; 2004), "Preserve Your Family History (A Step-by-Step Guide for Interviewing Family Members and Writing Oral Histories" (e-book; 2004). http://ruralroute2.com
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Where the Green Grass Grows
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Give Me A Home
Give Me A Home Where
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Christmas in Dairyland
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